Are You Listening to Me?

When I attend networking events, frankly, I'm amazed at the number of times I'm bombarded by other sales people spewing forth their pitches to everyone in sight, without any idea whether their solution will help me, along with everyone else they meet.

Now, of course, the point of going to these events is to meet prospects: a.k.a. other people you can help. The problem begins when sales people are so busy watching for their ship to sail in, they forget the part about helping.

Especially in this economy, I can sympathize with people who desperately need to cover the bills. Trust me, I'm in the same boat. The difference is, these days my ship is coming from a completely foreign place than theirs. I've already been to where they are, and I know the channel they are on will not lead them to where they want to go. Many souls will continue to be lost searching for that Northwest Passage. This is mainly because they have a beacon above their head saying: "Buy from me. I really need your cash!". No wonder everyone turns and bolts away.

Just yesterday, I was approached by someone in my local grocery store parking lot. It was pouring down rain, and yet he stood there to ask me for a food donation. His pitch was sincere and he was well-spoken. He wasn't homeless and although he wasn't dressed in designer clothing, he was clean and well-groomed... at least, as groomed as you can be in the pouring rain. In fact, he looked a lot like people I meet at networking functions. Clearly, he was desperate and so, most people were bolting from him. The rain didn't help his cause either.

How can you keep from appearing as desperate as the man begging at the grocery store? How can you turn your ship around, so it's not coming from a place of hopelessness?

To start with: take the focus off yourself. No one is interested in you, sorry to say. They have their own issues and concerns. Everyone is tuned into only one radio station: WII-FM (what's in it for me).

How do you do this? It's really quite simple. 1. Start asking lots of questions. 2. LISTEN to the answers.

People who ask questions, not only are guiding the conversation, but also appear to the other person, to be acutely interested in them. And you should be. What they have to say, will guide you towards finding out whether you have a solution for them or not. So, listening closely and focusing on that other person is a critical skill for you to develop.

The beautiful thing about using this system is two-fold: In the first place, you find out whether this person needs your services or not. If they don't, you can politely move on to the next person you'd love to help. Often your prospect isn't even aware you were prospecting.

And secondly, you have not burnt a bridge with them by prematurely jumping all over them with your solution they don't need, and seeming as desperate as the man in grocery store parking lot who got 1lb of ground beef from me, but who will have to come back, over and over again, hoping he will find new prospects who won't see him coming and navigate around him completely.